Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
How external is "for external use only"?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
