I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
