so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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