i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
