dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize