you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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