Where did you get a picture of my penis
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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