If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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