She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
My breasts were aching with rage.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
