You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
