got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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