East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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