I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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