There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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