Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
