How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
