I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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