Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
