i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
