...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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