Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
