I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
even my farts smell like vagina
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
