i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My ass is underappreciated
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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