so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
