call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
