mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
