Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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