I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
third nipple confirmed
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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