Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I would fuck him just for his dog
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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