a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
