shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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