"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
