okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
