hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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