hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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