His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
