Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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