hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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