Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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