you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
