I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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