woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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