Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
