rhymes with "ouble enetration"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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