all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
