I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
