Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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