She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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