we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
