porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
