So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
