you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
