Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She bit a glass in half.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
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