I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
do herpes really smell.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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