She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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