omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
