Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
