do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
