So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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