I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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