Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
