So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize