im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
