sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
