pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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